I am stuck inside right now, I can't leave and it's making things hard. My mind is just stuck imagining what's going on without me. It's different than what it is while I work. Because what's going on without me is something that I experienced last year, and something which I have memories of. This makes it even harder because I know the mindset of those in attendance, and I know the feeling that wells in the air. I won't be thought of, I won't be remembered, maybe once, but thoughts will be elsewhere.
Wait, now, those are the thoughts I've been trying to avoid, that's what hums in my brain when I'm not distracted. I just want to be thought of, if I can't be there, I want to be thought of. I don't know if it'll happen, and I don't know how often, but I just want to be thought of so they can think me there while I imagine the same. But I went through it before, I was there, I had my fun, no second chances. I'm glad they're having fun, I just want to be thought of. I have to stop. I can't keep thinking like this. Ok, I'm telling myself again, I will be thought of, and they're having fun, and that's what I want, and even though I'm not the one making them happy, they're still happy, and that's what I want. God fuck it, I have to go. I have to stop thinking about it. Damn it. Bye.
If the plane goes down...then what happens next?
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