Two More Weeks Folks

There's this slow process taking place before our eyes my friends; the slow and steady deterioration of my mental stability while here at home. I feel it slipping. I said before that things were getting better. This may still be true, yet not as assuredly as earlier. I realized that things only seem to be getting better when I find bits and pieces of that life that I had back at school. When those pieces leave, even if temporarily, I start to kind of lose touch with that confidence and happiness that I knew at school. I run into that feeling of "ok, how do I deal with this now?" and it's like rather than helping make positive things happen, I spend my time attempting to avoid and repair the bad things and if a good things just happens to happen, then great.

I am miserable at home. It's as simple as that. As with everything, I have my moments where it's nice to be home. But those moments are quickly outweighed by the difficulties brought about by coming back home. I just don't want to be here anymore. I want to be back at school, that's it. Maybe this too is a passing state, things've changed quickly before. But the more I think about it, I realize that things have changed for me, yet have not changed for my parents. Thus, with my new adaptations and my new ways of doing things and all that, my whole transformation of how I view things, with that whole shift, my life gets really tough because there is so much resistance and they understand so little now that things just don't work out between us anymore. I've realized that the way that they see things, especially the way my mom sees things, is greatly skewed and after going away, getting away from that whole bias thing, I've developed that whole ability to view situations with a better and less objective mindset. With a little help from Gorgeous and just being out almost on my own, not quite though, I've made this shift and it's really made me realize that my parents, all this time, have been the ones that have been wrong (sometimes, not always). Now, when I go with what I feel is right, I no longer wind up going with what they see as right, and that means that they see me doing the wrong thing which leads to issues.

It's just tough. I really really want to go back to school. And quite frankly, for the next four months that we're there, I do not want to come back home, it's as simple as that. I'll talk to my parents on the phone, but I do not want to go through this separation from the life that I now favor. That's all I have for you. New views do not mix with old habits, remember that. But there're just two more weeks of work and then I'm back to life and love, so, I'll tough it out, and you'll be there to witness it with me. Good luck, and happy new year.

all my sincerity and best wishes
Steve

If the plane goes down...then what happens next?